How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
Here's something you should know: figuring out girls can often be harder than figuring out boys.
She could be the most romantic person to you, yet her intentions might only be platonic. Or she might seem hard to approach and serious, yet deep down, she's just waiting for you to make a move.
She can be so perfect and totally out of your league, but she sends these confusing signals that change from red to green in a snap.
More often than not, women don't openly express their feelings.
But here's a little secret: recognizing her direct and indirect hints is similar to playing a game.
And like any game, there's a way to win if you understand how to play. Here's your detailed guide on how to tell if a girl likes you: no more making guesses or moving blindly.
- Reading Her Body Language
- Reading the Way She Behaves Around You with Other People
- Reading the Way She Behaves Around You
- Reading How Her Friends React to You
- Reading How She Reacts When You Do Things
- Reading How She Texts You
- Reading How She Acts on Social Media
- Reading Her When She does Contradictory Things
- Is She or Is She Not Into You?
- On Misinterpreting Her Signals
- What to Do if She Does Like You
- Conclusion
Every girl is different. However, these are some of the common behaviours a woman can display if she's waiting for you to take the friendship to a whole new level.
There are different scenarios where these behaviours can be applied. Now before you get overwhelmed, we will be taking the time to dissect each situation. Are you ready? Let's begin.
Reading Her Body Language
She mimics your gestures, facial expressions, and movements
This is called the "Mirroring Effect" where she unconsciously copies your nonverbal signals and cues. The act of mirroring actually fires up the neurons in your brain that will generate a greater connection and positive feelings.
She touches her neck and plays with her hair often
When she preens right in front of you, this highly suggests that she's really interested in you and what you have to say. Think of it as drawing attention to her best features, which in this case, is her hair.
She tilts her head
No matter how civilised we've become, our long-buried primal instincts still exist somewhere and can manifest during our daily interactions. This is one example of it. When she tilts her head and bares her neck to you, it is a clear indicator that she trusts you enough to show you a vulnerable part of her body.
She glances at you more than three times in under 10 minutes
Glancing at you is pretty normal. But if you've noticed her stares becoming more frequent, you know that that is her secret way of communicating that she likes what she sees.
She blushes when you look at her for more than five seconds
Maintaining eye contact can be very intimate. Some girls convey their feelings through prolonged eye contact. But there are also some girls who just can't meet gaze with people they have huge crushes on. If she blushes when your eyes meet longer than necessary or if she immediately looks away for it to be natural, you know that there's a higher chance of her being into you.
She initiates touching you
And we don't mean that in a sexual way. When she starts innocent physical contact like brushing up against you, touching your arm, or patting you on the back, she is comfortable with you to be doing so. That might also be the green light you are waiting to start taking your friendship to the next level.
She arches her back, drawing attention to her body
Again, think back to our long-buried primal instincts. The way birds flaunt their colourful plumage to attract mates can be compared to the instance where a woman can consciously and unconsciously change her posture to flaunt her beautiful body to you.
She positions herself in your field of vision
If she continually places herself in your field of vision, she wants you to focus all your attention on her and her alone. She wants you to ignore all the distractions from your immediate environment and only see her.
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Reading the Way She Behaves Around You with Other People
She stays close to you even if you aren't talking to her
Similarly, with group setups, you can tell that she likes you if, out of all the people in your party, she chooses your presence to stick with. You don't have to be necessarily talking to each other. But if she seeks you out and constantly sits beside you, you might have an admirer there.
She acts differently when you are in the room
Whether she turns into a mouse and becomes all quiet and nervous or she turns into a party animal whenever you are in the room, your presence visibly affects her enough to change her normal behaviour.
Ask her friends or common acquaintances if they notice anything different with her if you are in the vicinity or not.
She can't stop talking about you with her friends
The most predictable thing about women is how much they share positive experiences with their friends. If she likes you, you bet your sweet ass that her friends know about all the juicy details. She wouldn't have any topic in mind but you.
She points her feet towards you in a group of people
We don't mean constantly monitoring where her toes are pointed. That would just be creepy. Instead, observe her stance. If she angles her feet towards you especially in a group gathering, this conveys that she has a stronger attraction to you compared to the rest. You aren't just an ordinary acquaintance to her.
Reading the Way She Behaves Around You
She hangs on to your every word and maintains eye contact
Listen, when a girl hangs on to your every word and makes you feel that your stories are so engaging and exciting even if you are rambling on, you know that it is highly likely that she is attracted to you.
She leaves her friends to talk to you
Once she goes out of her way to come over and talk to you when she sees you walking by, that right there is a clear sign. After all, who would go out of their way to greet you if you are nothing to them?
She casually hints at her relationship status
Has she ever inadvertently dropped the "I am single" line more than once in a conversation? That is her tactic for feeling you out. Look, she's interested so she'd want to know if you are single as well to see if what you two have can turn into something else. Once she offers relationship status, she either expects a "Me, too" statement or a "Yeah, so my girlfriend . . ." as confirmation.
She compliments you a lot and notices things about you that aren't usually remarked on
Notice the frequency of her compliments. Does she flatter you a lot? Look even deeper at her praises. Does she remark on things that nobody ever notices? Has she told you how you have such beautiful eyes and actually know what their colour is? If she checks everything, she pays great attention to you. And no one pays that much attention if they aren't interested in the first place.
She puts her phone away when you are around
Phones are huge distractions these days. Apps pinging with notifications all day. But if she can put her phone and her notifications away to savor quality time with you, you can definitely consider yourself to be one very lucky bastard.
She doesn't give you bland, one-word answers.
When you talk to a girl, it is often clear if she is interested in you or not based on her replies. Does she give you one-word replies that shut down further conversation easily or does she give you lots of opportunities to lengthen the interaction? Pay attention to the amount of effort she exerts in trying to deepen the conversation and prolong her time with you.
She's smitten by your words - and makes an effort to let you know
A girl will make an effort to make a connection with you in more ways than one. Notice that she will appear to be smitten with every word you say and she will do everything to let you know about it.
Reading How Her Friends React to You
Her friends make an effort to leave the two of you alone
Here's a protip: if her friends subtly or not so subtly leave you guys alone, know that they are in on it. Either they know that you both have feelings for each other or their friend has, and this is their way of "helping out." Once they start making room for you, something is definitely up.
Her friends ask hypothetical questions about your relationship with her
Listen, her friends will most likely look out for her. When they ask hypothetical questions like "Hmmm, so, do you think Jo is girlfriend material?" that's their way of sending out feelers in behalf of her to confirm if she has a chance with you or not.
Her friends make sure you are included in the conversation and ask about your love life
When her friends make the extra effort to include you and make you feel comfortable with them, it is their way of extending friendship to you. Think of it as their way of welcoming you into the fold.
Reading How She Reacts When You Do Things
She hypes up a small favour you did for her as "something she'd never be able to do"
Women have a neat trick right up their sleeves. They orchestrate situations where you can help her out. Plus, it doesn't end there. She'll continuously bring up the favour and hype it up like it's some big deal.
She gets cold and distant whenever you mention other girls
Be observant and read the telltale signs of jealousy whenever you mention other girls even if it's just a casual namedrop. Does she become cold and distant all of a sudden? That's because she's hella jealous. And girls don't get jealous if they aren't into you.
She keeps an eye on you when you are at the same place, especially when you talk to other girls
Does she track your movements when you two are at the bar? Does she give you a side-eye whenever you speak to a girl? If she does, then she sure is keeping tabs on you. A woman who doesn't like you certainly wouldn't do that.
Reading How She Texts You
She replies fast, and her replies are thoughtful and open-ended
If she replies fast and yet, all her responses aren't your usual "hey" or "umm, okay," then you bet she definitely likes talking to you.
She sends heart-themed emojis
Women use emojis more than men. Use this to your advantage. If she texts you hearts and other romantic-themed emojis, that can be a reflection of where she wants this relationship to go.
She initiates conversation even if she's busy
We are very busy with responsibilities, alright. But if she takes time out of her hectic schedule to start a conversation with you, it is clear that you are a special person to her.
She teases you and sends flirty messages
Girls can be bolder through text. She might send you flirty messages and even tease you through text. You can flirt back and see where this leads to.
She asks you out, or she instantly says yes when you do
It is a sure sign of attraction when she immediately wants to spend time with you in real life. Don't be afraid to take the leap. You gain more than you lose if you simply just ask her out.
Reading How She Acts on Social Media
She looked you up and followed you on all your social media platforms
Girls can give the FBI a run for their money when it comes to investigating. So, you had a great conversation with her. But when she follows that up by searching and adding you on various social media platforms, she's definitely feeling your chemistry together
She favourites and likes all the content you post
Liking your posts or even commenting on them are this century's version of validation. If she actively likes, retweets, or interacts with your social media posts, she is interested in getting to know you just a little bit more.
She goes out of her way to post exciting tidbits in her life to get you to notice her
Have you ever heard of the phrase, "Gatsby-ing?" It is like being "extra loud" on social media by posting the most exciting tidbits of your life to get your crush to notice you. So, if you see her being more extroverted on social media (when she isn't before you are following her), that might be a great sign.
She broadcasts through Instagram, Snapchat, and or Facebook stories that you are with her
When she broadcasts the times you are with her on all her social media accounts, something is surely brewing. They just wouldn't post about any random guy. She has to like you enough for you to be featured in her stories.
Reading Her When She does Contradictory Things
She immediately looks away when your eyes meet
We might have stressed out the importance of maintaining eye contact yet avoiding your gaze can also be a telltale sign. Girls can be shy, too. If she blushes then looks away when your gazes meet, don't mistake it for her being disinterested. It might be because you give her the butterflies. Notice how much she stares at you when she thinks you are not looking.
She flirts with others to make you jealous
That might not be the most sophisticated approach, but sometimes, when women get frustrated that you aren't making any moves despite her visible (and frankly, not so obvious) signs, they flirt with other men just to prompt you. She makes sure that you notice when she's talking to other guys. It is also 100% guaranteed that she is checking out your reaction. That doesn't mean that she likes other men. It's just her way of urging you to action.
She ignores you and becomes the life of the party
Women can opt for this tactic wherein she ignores you and from a distance, shows you how much fun she can be. She becomes the centre of attention, pulling you in her magnetic field. She wants to pose as an irresistible force of nature to reckon with. This can be her way of exhibiting her fun and outgoing personality to get you to like her. It might not be obvious, but she's definitely tracking your movements to see if anything she's doing affects you.
Is She or Is She Not Into You?
Women can be very confusing, alright. She says one thing but her actions speak another. You are then left confused. Worry no more, for we will help you get the answer!
On Misinterpreting Her Signals
Each woman is different. While we have listed the most common behaviours a woman might display if she likes you, it is important to have a gauge on her own unique personality still.
Similar to that, you can memorise quite a long list of subtle and not so subtle cues and still misinterpret them. To that, we say: context definitely matters.
It takes skill and finesse to interpret social cues. You must be able to tell what's normal and what's an anomaly, depending on the social context.
If she displays most of the signs at a certain period, consider it as "possible," or even "initial" attraction before you assume right there and there. Then, you can test out the waters and ask her out on a few dates, see where things are going.
What to Do if She Does Like You
Once you have completely made sure that she 100% likes you and that the feeling is mutual, you can proceed to make your move. Listen, just because she likes you doesn't mean that everything will be easy peasy. This still requires delicate handling. Here's what you can do:
- Put her at ease by starting a conversation about a topic she is familiar with or interested in
- Maintain regular communication, may it be through text or personal
- Ask her out once you've developed a rapport
- Don't be afraid to flirt: compliment her, make eye contact, and smile
- Make your intentions known
Conclusion
Decoding her signals is one thing; interpreting them correctly is another. While she may exhibit some of these signs, it is always good to understand these in the right context. Plus, always remember that the signs are just a possible attraction. You still have to build a connection and rapport with her.
Founder of Datingscout and Author of the book "Online Dating for Dummies"